Feeling Helpless

I am type A
Wait make that TYPE A in all caps
I like things a certain way
I like to feel in control all the time
The one thing to set me off more than anything is to feel helpless
When I think about that, it honestly makes me shudder
Like in the movies that fake shudder people do
I really do that
Being type A I don't allow myself to have this opportunity to be helpless often
I'm a fixer
I will figure out a way to fix whatever is wrong
But life well it's messy and unpredictable and I'm not always in control
Take yesterday
My husband has complained about tooth pain off and on forever
He hates the dentist always has since he was little
Not that I'm a fan....takes Valium for me to get in the chair (remember that thing about me needing to be in control)
Anyways I found a new dentist a year and half ago
She's great no judgement just solutions
She's patient (yes I'm such a baby that my cleanings take 2 visits)

Any who as usual I'm off track that's a problem of mine.....you will soon just accept that as a fun quirk....or you will forever be annoyed....your choice

Back to the husband he has been in agony for a week
Finally makes it to the dentist
His poor tooth was broken in pieces and needed to come out
The awesome dentist could do it same day
Problem is Novocaine didn't work perhaps because of nerves or because the tooth was in pieces....He said he felt everything
So home with his 4 prescriptions and to bed
Looking at him I had to fight back tears
That helpless feeling
It's all consuming
I would take his pain
I would do anything to fix that for him
I lectured a little
I did a I told you so
All so maybe he will do better and see the dentist more
To save him and to save myself from having to see his pain
Well this pain anyways

I always try and remember life takes us on different journeys
It's  not always sunshine and roses
But with me along that journey I know ill be busy trying to fix that broken road